Ooh, Izzy has a shiny new Blog! Can't believe that I've never done this before...I only hope that people read this and maybe gain some understanding or inspiration from my knowledge.
So, why am I blogging? Well, I'm in recovery from Anorexia, and I got to thinking about all the things I know now about Eating disorders, the Pro Ana movement, even healthy eating and dieting (Extreme and otherwise.) And I wondered, would any of it interest others? Well, I don't know about that, but I guess time will tell, I'm going to post my blog on a couple of forums and see if I get any visitors. So, Please, If you Visit, COMMENT FOR ME! Just say hi, let me know you're out there :)
So, on to the blog!
For me, Anorexia was, and still is an illness, yet I've called my blog "running from Ana".
Why the personification? Well, Ana is something which came to me from the pro ana movement I was deeply engrossed in for a time, and I came to realise that Ana is a fantastic way of dealing with this illness.
For one, Anorexia can take the form of a voice in your head, not always a voice you recognise as your own "You're fat, God, all you think about is stuffing your FAT face, go running, it might stop you becoming massively obese." Woah, Where does that even come from? surely that amount of loathing isn't ME? Of course it's not, it's Ana.
A lot of people take Ana further, she becomes a friend, helping in your mission to become perfect. Only Ana understands, only Ana can keep you going when you want to crack and eat the entire kitchen. Well, yes, that's true, but remember that Ana is essentially YOU, and your thoughts which have become twisted due to hunger and low self esteem among other things. Blaming Ana for your behaviour is wonderful escapism, but allowing yourself to see Anorexia as a friend is a guaranteed way to delay eventual recovery.
The other big part of the pro ana movement is the belief that Ana is a lifestyle choice. Quite simply, it's not. I would go so far as to suggest that someone who "decides" to become anorexic has plenty of issues already and may like to consider therapy before joining weight watchers to learn how to lose weight healthily.
So, yes, I use the term Ana, but I want to make it clear that I don't see Ana as a friend, more a part of me who I like to distance myself from, I view her as a character in my life story - the villain in a fairytale. And we all know that the goodies always win :)
Hey [:
ReplyDeleteShall be reading your blog!
We're friends on Facebook, and that is how I found out about your lovely blog and such [:
I am out here ;) I like your posts on PT, so I thought I would check out your blog.
ReplyDeleteI am in two minds about using the word 'ana' to personify the illness. On the one hand, it kindov annoys me, maybe because a lot of people who want to 'catch' anorexia use this abbreviation. But on the other hand, for those who are genuinely suffering from it, I can see exactly where it has come from. I feel silly saying that I feel as though I have another person in my mind, and yet that is exactly how it does feel. When I was really ill with it I did feel as though I was posessed, and as though it is some evil force within me. xxx
Hey girlies :)
ReplyDeleteAlba, you summed it up really well - It's so frustrating to hear people talking about "Ana", but at the same time, being able to distance myself from Anorexia has helped me recover. And I DEFINITELY feel possessed when "Ana" speaks.