My love - hate relationship with Wetherspoons

Oh Spoons, how I love you, with your "lighter choices" menu so readily available, along with nutritional info for ALL of your food. I can choose my meal by calories: 250 for a chicken and ham salad, 600 for egg and chips, 1,955 for a large mixed grill.

Woah.
Stop right there. 1,955 CALORIES FOR ONE MEAL?!
The best thing? thats with a jacket potato and salad. It's actually better, calorie wise to opt for the chips at a mere 1,890 cals. Well, thats ok then.

It just makes me ask, WHY? No one  needs that amount of calories in their diet, it is catering to pure gluttony. It makes me annoyed, disgusted and kinda scared.

. I'd much rather have the sweet chilli noodles at 297 calories and 5% fat. Actually, I could eat an entire tub of ben and jerry's and still be better off. Or 9 packets of walkers cheese and onion crisps.

How about a big mac meal? yep, thats less too. Even a small portion of fish and chips would be lower in calories.

Anyway, I digress. But am I the only person who feels that restaurants should have some sort of calorie cap for their main meals? If it's more than 1000 calories, it goes. There must be any number of delicious, lower cal foods they could provide, and I doubt anyone would even notice...

Learning to ignore Ana

eight months into my recovery, a surprisingly comfortable two stone gain and three regular meals a day.

Yet, "Ana" is still there. Take this morning at breakfast:
"Good God, are you ACTAULLY going to eat TWO weetabix AND milk?"
Why, yes I am, and I will enjoy it, thank you.
"You FAT COW, Lose a weetabix and have it with water instead."
And why would I want to do that?
"Erm... so you don't become MASSIVELY OBESE!"
Hmm, I could do that, it wouldn't hurt, would it?
"To be honest, you really need to lose a few pounds, have you seen your hips lately?"
WOAH! My hips are fine, they're average hips, SHUT UP!

I could continue in this vain for some time if I allow it, but the point of recovery is learning firstly to ignore that negative . How do I do it?

Well, it's really not easy, but it gets easier. Constant positive thoughts:

One more weetabix won't make a difference to my weight
If I skip a weetabix, I give the illness a chance to grab me again
I'm fine as I am now, I have curves, not fat, curves.
I am a healthy weight
I need to eat so I can get married next year and have children.

That last one normally does it, lol.

Try it today, when you hear the negative thoughts, replace them with something positive. Go on, I dare you!

My favourite dinners...

So… this healthy eating business…

Here’s the thing, I’m NOT fully recovered, I doubt I ever will be if I’m honest, I’ll always have a preoccupation with food, calories and fat. It’s just that these days I obsess somewhat over keeping close to 2000 cals a day rather than as little as possible. Anyway, today’s blog contains some yummy dinners for around 400 cals or less. I know, a lot for someone following something like the ABC or if you’re just scared of eating full stop, but if you allow fruit and veg as “free” or follow something like skinny girl, go for it! Also, if you’re in recovery like me, these recipes are great as the calorie content isn’t terrifying and these have lots of veg in them so feel healthy! J

Easy Chicken casserole: You will need: A skinless chicken breast, one sliced carrot, half a sliced onion, a few mushrooms, half a tin of tomatoes, a chicken stock cube, and a small baking potato. Whack everything in the oven at 180 degrees for about an hour, and you’re done. Just check the chicken’s cooked before you eat it!! All this for 400 calories, 300 excluding veg J

Quorn stir fry: Get a bag of Quorn’s chicken style pieces (frozen section of super market 30 cals per ¼ pack) a pepper, 4 mushrooms, a few sugar snap peas, half a red onion, a tablespoon of sweetcorn, garlic to taste, a tablespoon of soy sauce and a cup of plain noodles. Follow the instructions to cook 1/2 the quorn packet and a cup of noodles and stir fry the veg in water for 5 to 10 mins. Around 300 cals, 150 if you don’t count veg J For more cals you can use beef or pork instead of Quorn.

Give them a try :)

Anorexia and me...

Ooh, Izzy has a shiny new Blog! Can't believe that I've never done this before...I only hope that people read this and maybe gain some understanding or inspiration from my knowledge.

  So, why am I blogging? Well, I'm in recovery from Anorexia, and I got to thinking about all the things I know now about Eating disorders, the Pro Ana movement, even healthy eating and dieting (Extreme and otherwise.) And I wondered, would any of it interest others? Well, I don't know about that, but I guess time will tell, I'm going to post my blog on a couple of forums and see if I get any visitors. So, Please, If you Visit, COMMENT FOR ME! Just say hi, let me know you're out there :)

So, on to the blog!

For me, Anorexia was, and still is an illness, yet I've called my blog "running from Ana".
Why the personification? Well, Ana is something which came to me from the pro ana movement I was deeply engrossed in for a time, and I came to realise that Ana is a fantastic way of dealing with this illness.

For one, Anorexia can take the form of a voice in your head, not always a voice you recognise as your own "You're fat, God, all you think about is stuffing your FAT face, go running, it might stop you becoming massively obese." Woah, Where does that even come from? surely that amount of loathing isn't ME? Of course it's not, it's Ana.

  A lot of people take Ana further, she becomes a friend, helping in your mission to become perfect. Only Ana understands, only Ana can keep you going when you want to crack and eat the entire kitchen. Well, yes, that's true, but remember that Ana is essentially YOU, and your thoughts which have become twisted due to hunger and low self esteem among other things. Blaming Ana for your behaviour is wonderful escapism, but allowing yourself to see Anorexia as a friend is a guaranteed way to delay eventual recovery.

The other big part of the pro ana movement is the belief that Ana is a lifestyle choice. Quite simply, it's not. I would go so far as to suggest that someone who "decides" to become anorexic has plenty of issues already and may like to consider therapy before joining weight watchers to learn how to lose weight healthily.

So, yes, I use the term Ana, but I want to make it clear that I don't see Ana as a friend, more a part of me who I like to distance myself from, I view her as a character in my life story - the villain in a fairytale. And we all know that the goodies always win :)